Hello my friends. I haven't thought of a good title for today's post on normal things dark tetrad parents fubar for their kids. That's part of the devious nature of dark tetrads: they leave you at a loss for words to describe their cunning. I'll just have to explain it as I go and hope it makes sense. It has to do with how these selfish parents destroy concepts such as childlike vs. childish behavior. It has to do with them transposing who is the child and who is the parent in the relationship (parentification). But there's more to it. For sure, they demand to behave like the dependent the child, with no accountability and expect the child to play adult and parent, taking care of them.
But they don't act like any child I've ever known. And I've worked with thousands. Children are still under construction so they make "immature" decisions. But that's just them acting age appropriately. It might get tedious but you expect it. And you comfort them when they fall. You forgive when they say they're sorry because at heart, they are. Adults acting this way is bizarre and disturbing and impossible to live with. They don't apologize because they're not sorry. They're entitled to act this ways, they believe. And they expect you to constantly support, reassure and make excuses for them. Even when you are the child!
And then there's this dichotomy between childish and childlike, the first being less preferable than the second. But really they mean the same thing "of or like a child." So a child doing childish or childlike things is her doing exactly what she should be doing. Even breaking things, pouting, slamming doors, lying, or hitting, are "of childhood" in nature. No matter how goofy or even dangerous it might be, kids will be kids. They're little loose cannon that adults have to watch out for and keep safe.
Consequently, children don't "sin" as such. Their understanding of right and wrong is still in formative stages. They aren't of the age of accountability for their actions. This would be on their parents' patch. To chastise them maybe, but ultimately parents take responsibility for kids' actions. Though they may make the child contribute, they're the ones who pay for what got broken. They teach their children better ways and listen to their side of the story.
A dark tetrad only gets the "punish the child" memo. And they love that bit because they are dark and sick. They only want the rights part of parenting not the responsibilities. They hypocritically leave their children in dangerous situations with dangerous people. They do not take care of the child. They often do unhealthy, unsafe things themselves with no apology or remorse. And so the child, being a child who makes mistakes anyway, makes more because she has no supervision, role model or nurturing parent to care. Often, as in my case, the parents set her up to fail. They sabotage any success.
We sometimes say, and wrongly I might add, that parentified children play adult while the dark tetrad parent acts like a child. And as I said, they don't. Dark tetrad behavior isn't an accident of youth. They don't act selfish and spoiled because they are learning, like a real child, to care for themselves. They know better. They choose to act whiny, petulant, demanding, immature, licentious, intentionally for a self-serving, malicious, malignant agenda. Everything is orchestrated and schemey-scammy.
Unlike children who are genuine and innocent, dark tetrads are disingenuous and culpable. They're backstabbing, spiteful, passive-aggressive and flat out aggressive, like no child ever. If a kid acts this way, it's because he's been taught to or he does it to protect himself. And it's never as poisonous as an adult who does these things. Dark tetrads aren't on the defense but offense.
Dark tetrad behavior doesn't even resemble a child's childishness, if you know anything about children. It's fakey, stagey for effect done for effect, to entrap. Dark tetrad women (like my mom) will play the pretty baby in sick, uncomfortable ways, to trap men who have a thing for children (aka pedos) into lust. The dark tetrad man plays along to satisfy his sick fantasy. She, being a master manipulator, gets off on this power. It's so gross I can hardly write about it.
On the other hand, real children are kind, loving and helpful or try to be. Even if they are being horrible, they don't really mean it. They are sad about their choices and want to give hugs. Most of them are morally superior to many adults. They're functioning on a much higher level than they should be, given how we've messed them up. In a word, they are GENUINE.
Dark tetrads don't act like animals either. A serpent for example, may be venomous but only to protect her young. Wow, operative phrase there, that doesn't apply to dark tetrad parents: protect their young. They don't. They hurt, manipulate, exploit, endanger and abandon theirs. Animals don't have a mean bone in their bodies. They instinctively do what's best. Even my thieving little rascal cat Mordecai only takes food because he feels he needs more than we give him. And he's cute about it.
Dark tetrads aren't cute. They just think they are. Look at me, breaking the rules, pouting, throwing hissy fits, stealing, lying, scamming, treating people like dirt and getting away with it all. Aren't I a caution? No they're not. They're hellish nightmares to live with, especially for their scapegoat, parentified children. They "get away with it" because they make anyone who challenges them miserable, if they don't get their way.
Dark tetrads are neither adult, child, animal nor, I presume, mineral nor vegetable. So what are they? Unliving, undead, zombies? Well, they do parasitically feed off others. But, no. They also don't take direction well. And they don't run in packs. Which makes it easier, I suppose for them to hide in plain sight. They are shape shifters. They can take on different forms at will. They may pose as the loving parent or dutiful spouse. But the facade is only for show. Once past the front door, it's a way different story.
They may play the organ in church, quote the Bible or feign goodness. They pontificate on God's laws, others' sins and the "ways of the world." But funny thing is, you see them doing exactly what they preach against. And you never really see any good fruits of their "work." Just your own suffering by them. Well, Jesus said a tree is known by its fruit, or lack thereof, or poisoned fruit. God sees the heart, the intentions, the ulterior motives, the agenda. And God will not be mocked.
It doesn't even take much for the facade to fall apart. Just wait till the audience goes home and no one is watching the performance. Then costumes and greasepaint come off. Then you see that they are really Dementors (thank you, Rose, that's a perfect analogy). They're not soul-less and heartless. They've given their souls and hearts to evil and they are bent on everyone else's destruction. Nothing is pure. It's all tainted with lies. If only they were like Scooby Doo's villains, nasty and misguided, but human. Dark tetrads are a mask without a man inside.
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