Good day, my friends. I'm on a quest to heal CPTSD from a lifetime of abuse, neglect, exploitation, endangerment, abandonment, scapegoating, enmeshment, invalidation, parentification and gaslighting about it all, by four narcissistic dark tetrad parents. And you know, once I began to see them for what they are/were, I realized that they aren't just a little off. Nothing is genuine, real, honest or pure. Everything is tainted by their avarice, spite and malice. They have two twin goals: to get to the top by climbing on and stomping down everyone else. Nothing is inadvertent. It's all intentional. She doesn't just accidentally break things, she sets bombs to destroy everything and anyone in her path.
Because, I have come to see, once I pried my hands off my eyes, that the dark tetrad is an enemy operative. She's an agent provocateur and saboteur. I know, I know, this sounds like KGB tinfoil hat paranoia. I wish it were. I wish this was just a MAD cartoon of Spy Vs. Spy. Then I could have a laugh, close the magazine and be done. But unfortunately for us kids of dark tetrad parents, it's not some cloak and dagger comic book. It's real. The nightmare is never over. We wake to worse things than we could ever dream about. And I can dream some pretty seriously borked shit.
So what is an agent provocateur and how is a dark tetrad parent one? First, let's define dark tetrad. These are people with very, well not to put too fine a point on it, evil ways. Words that have been used to describe them are: psychopathic, sociopathic, exploitative, callous, egotistic, narcissistic and sadistic. They are arrogant AF, spiteful, vindictive, passive-aggressive, aggressive and nasty. As an agent provocateur they machinate dangerous, terrifying situations as land their victims in it. As saboteurs, they clandestinely work to sabotage, undermine and implode every good thing their victim does.
Wearing their agent provocateur- saboteur hat, dark tetrads incite violence and anger in others to get them to do destructive things in their name. They sow discord among people where none existed before. They create false scenarios to pit people against each other who were never enemies. They do this by dripping evil suspicions, into their ears. They fill our heads with lies. They lie to us and about us.
These puppeteers set up controversy and conflict. They tell whisper falsehoods to each person that they know will goad them to do the dark tetrad's bidding. Oh, they don't frame it this way. They present it as "truth-telling" "whistle-blowing" "saying what others are too cowardly to" and worst of all, God's will. They manipulate people to do dangerous or illegal things to incriminate themselves. The dark tetrads then sit back, watch the shitshow and sell popcorn. Think beer hall putsch, Netanyahu, Jan. 6 riots and burning of the Reichstag. Think Trump. I think of my parents.
Because as crazy as it sounds, that's what they did to me. They sabotaged my efforts. They set me up as the fall girl. They tunneled under my confidence and collapsed it. They undermined my good deeds and painted them black. Anything positive I did was "selfish", "arrogant" and "showing off." If I sensed this and backed off, they were "just kidding" and I was "too sensitive." Effectively, they wired me with explosive devices of fear, self-doubt, lies about God not loving me, etc.. Then they set the timer and enjoyed the fireworks. Yep, it sound made up. Nope, no parent would do this to their kids. But mine did.
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