Hi friends. I've been exploring the dark tetrad traits and find that they fit my four parents to a T. So if you're unfamiliar with dark tetrads, they're narcissistic (entitled, self-centered, manipulative), psychopathic (disagreeable, deceitful, spiteful, hateful), Machiavellian (exploitative) and sadistic (enjoy cruelty and bullying). Without the last they're dark triad. I've lived with these behaviors all my life from them. And maybe you're wondering what makes them this way? Are they just nasty? Do they do it on purpose? Is it a sickness? Are they suffering too? Is it delusional?
The short answers are yes, yes, kinda, not so's you'd notice and no. Yes they are nasty to live with. They're resentful, bitter, pouty, arrogant, malignant, hypocritical, deceitful, manipulative, abusive, bossy, demanding, disrespectful, and all the things other people don't like. They don't form relationships well because they love things and use people. They're frequently divorced and have estranged kids. They don't have many real friends because they don't give. They take.
Do they do these things on purpose or is it a sickness that they can't help? Eh, it may be prompted by something broken in them but they can help it. They know what they're doing. Because when anyone does anything to them remotely like they do to others, they understand very well how wrong it is. For them. It's not wrong for them to do it to others. My parents could quote chapter and verse of how others were supposed to live. But they did not live it.
I also believe that it's like anything else. Practice makes perfect. So where they were amateurs as kids, they became pros by repeatedly doing these behaviors. They can stop any time they want to. But they don't want to. Lying, cheating, scamming, winning is too important. The payoff in narcissistic supply is too great. They prefer fantasy to reality. And I think the devil is egging them on. And you know what happens when you lie. You have to keep lying to preserve the fallacies. Pretty soon your entire world is a house of cards with one lie building on the other.
So these are delusions, then? Nope I don't think so. They have convinced themselves they're all that and then some. Above it all, accountable to no one, making up rules as they go along. Delusional, yes. Clearly they're just people no more or less. But I don't think they really believe it. They just want to superimpose this belief on others. They want us to believe it. They gaslight and con everyone, even God.
They choose to act superior because they want to be worshipped and adored. They want to do as they please, no matter how hurtful, and have others not only go along with it but approve and admire. They want to be exempted from the consequences of their actions. They want others to treat them as if they are beyond reproach. Because this supports their fantasy. They want the easy, lazy path with others doing the work.
And Christians are particularly vulnerable here. (I'm only speaking to this religious group because it's the only one I have experience with.) Christians know this is completely antithetical to scripture, the commandments and the gospel. It's anathema to God. It's blasphemy and apostasy. And here's where the devil jumps right in just as he did with Adam and Eve. He didn't tell them to disobey God. He tempted them to want to BE God.
And that's how dark tetrad Christians comfort themselves. They can preach and proclaim God's word all they want. To do so is to do His will. They can and should warn others, as my mother so frequently does, that sin is still sin. Hell is still hot. But she has let Satan fool her into thinking that she is not held to these truths. For all the energy she puts into telling others what to do, she doesn't do it. She does what she wants which is often very sinful. Blatantly so. She goes out of her way to.
She doesn't confess, apologize, admit or acknowledge her sin. And here's why. She has believed for so long that she has God's ear, that she's His emissary, voice on earth etc. that she is now SELF-righteous (right on her own merit) She doesn't have to follow these rules she just has to preach them. All her preaching has somehow rendered her immune to sin. Keeping her finger pointed at others, distracts attention from the four fingers pointing back at her. As the serpent promised, and she's deceived herself, she KNOWS God, understands like God, thinks like God and (I hate to even say the words), now IS God.
And that is the biggest delusion of all.
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