Rewriting the rules for dealing with dark tetrad narcissist parents

Hi friends. I just wrote about how I'm rewriting the rules for dealing with dark tetrad narcissist parents. So now I'm listing what those new rules are.  My entire life, rules of loving family didn't apply to me. Wrong was right for them and right was wrong for me. I've existed in their double standards, mixed messages, backpeddling, backstabbing, bullying, exploitation and gaslighting by four narcissistic parents. So yes I get to make it up as I go along. I'll be the one flipping the script, now. 

1) Right is right, not just PC.  On her rightwing high horse, my mother recently posted on Facebook (someone really  needs to take her computer away) that she wasn't afraid to "tell it like it is" and that "hell is still hot, people and sin is still sin." She doesn't do this to help anyone, just to shame them. It's another of her twisted ways of guilting others for things she blatantly does. Note she doesn't enumerate what said sins are. She can't because she'd be pointing her finger at herself. But in my new rulebook, rules apply to everyone. 

2) Standards for me AND thee. I'm not sure what these sins are she's calling people to repent from who she's calling out. She just likes to imagine others' sinning while she adjusts her halo. And it's not even really her. It's just some nasty rightwing rhetoric she's passing off as hers. She doesn't know either. She just wants to sound like a cool kid, pick me, pick me! But let's look at sin from the Bible she's always  misquoting. Let's see how many apply to her. Adultery ✅ fornication ✅, divorce ✅✅, cheating ✅ many times, lying ✅ (more often than not) stealing, (repeatedly), envy, pride, sloth, greed, dishonoring God, playing God, manipulating others, neglecting her kids, check, check check. 

3) Real is real. What happened, happened as I said it did. Not how I was gaslit into believing it did. The fact that I relive it every night in my dreams is proof I'm not imaging it. These are memories haunting me. 

4) Speaking up is good for me. Be quiet, harpies in my head. You have no power here. Knowledge, awareness, acceptance is power. . Me being "disloyal" "disobedient" "too sensitive" "too critical" "showing off" are all shams foisted on me to keep me silent in abuse. 

5) Saying what happened isn't slander, it's saving my life. If telling the truth about what I experienced, is slander, what they did must have been pretty bad. If saying what I experienced is "disloyal" and lying is loyalty, what are they covering?  If it was good, they'd be wanting me to brag it up If I have to keep their secrets, they did something wrong. Let's just allow that to marinate awhile. 

6) I define how I will "help" and "love" now. I know best what others need from me and I decide what I'm willing to give. I owe no one anything, least of all people who hurt me. Since my life with them has been mostly all me giving good and receiving bad, it's high time to quit giving. 

7) I take care of my family. They conned me into thinking that when they divorced this excluded me. When they started new families I was allowed to be part, conditionally. And then they kept changing conditions. I was family when doing for them and excluded when I needed anything. I incurred debts with them they said, while they freely stole from me. So they didn't want me in their family, so? They thought I was expendable? Bible says wrong, but no matter now. Now I'm the one excluding them. My turn to slam the door. 

8) I deal direct now. They falsely believed they were God and told me so. They dictated everything, including how I should feel (ashamed, enslaved, subject to them). Well now I'm anadult and I know there's one God and He's not them. Following them is following false prophets and putting others gods before Him. So I deal direct with the source from now on, not some self-proclaimed, self-serving intermediaries. 

9) I take them at their word. They said I was lazy. Fine, I won't wait on you. I'm a terrible daughter? Fine no more lovely presents. You have to go home to "your family?" Fine, go. And don't come back. 

10) I dictate terms now. I was always told how it was going to be. I was told where I would live and it what deplorable conditions. When I was kicked out of the house, I left, believing their lies that I'd caused it. I was told I was a servant, disgrace, failure, scapegoat, whipping girl, fixer, pleaser. That was then when I was too young to stand up for myself.  Now I'm older and I call the shots in my life. And if they don't like it, good. This people pleaser is out of business.