Healing CPTSD from dark tetrad parental abuse means radical acceptance

Hi friends. Today in my quest to heal CPTSD from narcissistic dark tetrad parental abuse, I'm exploring the crucial component which is radical acceptance. Acceptance that what I recall happening really did happen. And that helps me get who's responsible for what in perspective. This is crucial for de-programming their gaslighting and ceasing my own auto-gaslighting. Acceptance is how I'm saving myself from the mind, body and soul-killing pain of abuse. 

Am I saying it was okay for the four self-centered folks that called themselves my parents to hurt me? Not bloody likely. Am I giving my imprimatur to their consistent, strategic abuse, neglect, endangerment, abandonment, exploitation, dehumanizing, shaming, enmeshment, scapegoating and brainwashing about it all? No way. Radical acceptance isn't the good housekeeping seal of approval. It's more akin to Led Zepplin recognizing "what is and what should never be" or in the case of parental abuse what should never have been but what is. 

That word recognizing holds the key. It's about seeing their Dark Tetrad behaviors--narcissistic, Machiavellian (self-servingly exploitative) psychopathic (lack of empathy or remorse and sadistic (enjoying others' pain) for what they are. It's about breaking up with the 5 ex's--explaining away, excepting (ignoring), exempting (letting them get away with), excusing, and exonerating their cruelty. All of which enables their delusion of privilege and entitlement to continue abusing.  

Sadly, as a child growing up in this, my world was shaped and deformed by these lies. This was and still is my reality. It's automatic and autonomic. I never questioned it. Till I did. So for me, acceptance is recognizing that they are the problem not me. That they wronged me but that there's no way to change the past. It's about affirming my own version of events not the self-serving deceitful one. 

And so, with Reinhold Niebuhr, I ask God for the serenity to accept what I can't change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference. THAT is radical acceptance, to me.