Hi friends! I'm working to heal from CPTSD caused by abuse, neglect, endangerment, abandonment, manipulation, exploitation, parentification, triangulation, enmeshment, invalidation, toxic shaming, scapegoating and gaslighting about it all by four narcissistic parents. Today I'm looking at demonic and deceitful ways Christian narcissist parents destroy their kids.
First, why do I specify Christian narcissist parents? Because Christianity gives them an arsenal of weapons, tailor-made to gaslight kids. Now I understand that sounds very wrong. And it is but not it the way you may think. It's not Jesus, God, the Bible or faith in those things. It's the way Satan twists the our understanding of Christianity and teaches his disciples to weaponize this against their children.
Did I just call narcissistic parents disciples of the devil? Yes, and very intentionally. And so does God. In his word, Our Lord calls out Pharisees who bind others up to expectations they don't help carry as evil-DOERS and hypocrites. They love the sound of their own voices. They are white-washed sepulchers full of death and destruction. He says that not all who call him Lord are actually his followers. Because they say one thing and do another. And because they serve two masters. Sounds pretty much like devil worship to me.
And the way narcissistic parents do this is super sneaky, just like their master, whom we know is the father of lies. They use words to paint a false picture of themselves. They do things that APPEAR (operative word) to be following God (read the Bible, preach, go to church). But it's an act. They don't follow up on it. It's all show and no go. It's a lot of word salad designed to baffle, deceive, gaslight and confuse.
The very fact that my narcissistic parents were so obsessed with "preaching" God's word shows how bass-ackwards it was. They wanted to TELL others how to live their lives not show them. Scripture tells us to be very careful about calling ourselves preachers and teachers. Because, obviously, people are watching our actions and if they don't measure up, it would be better to just keep your mouth shut. And if you do it out of pride, you're destined for a fall.
And narcissists are the very worst type of hypocrite. They don't love God or other people. They love themselves. They are arrogance on crack. They treat their children like extensions of themselves. I was servant, surrogate parent, surrogate spouse and scapegoat to my parents and their new spouses. I was not allowed to have thoughts and feelings. Needs and wants didn't get met. I was supposed meet their needs (which were mostly wants). Scripture didn't apply to them, only me. They went out of their way to flout the very words of scripture they preached. And they gaslit me into thinking this was all God's will.
The reason Christian narcissist parents are so successful at deceiving their kids, the reason children swallow this bullshit hook, line and sinker, is the unique place parents hold in their lives. They are, in a sense, God to their children. They are the first image of Him that little ones see. That's why the Bible is so adamant about not leading a child astray.
And if the first God voice we hear is lying, tricking, undermining, mocking, conniving, shaming we believe it the same as if it were loving, caring and nurturing. In fact, it goes even deeper than belief. I have, as an adult, chosen to believe that God loves me. Even though as a child, I didn't feel loved and was not cared for at all. This is a core autonomic response, an instinct or kneejerk reaction. I don't think there is actually a word for this devilish evil that narcissist parents embed in us. But they certainly do train us up and departing from it next to impossible to do.
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